One of my favorite quotes is, “when life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile.” (Unknown) I’m sitting here writing this college essay thinking to myself that I never thought I’d make it to this part of my life; like furthering my education was out of the question. But here I am sitting at my computer and telling about why I want to attend college. Life has given me something I could cry about every day, but I don’t want to cry anymore. I want to embrace life and smile every chance I get. Plus someone once told me that it takes more work to frown then it would to smile.
On March 7th, 2006, my life took a turn that would change my life forever, and that’s where my journey begins. It was a beautiful day, and my little sister and I were just getting off the bus and playing around outside until my mom came running out of the house telling us we needed to come in and sit down in the living room.
She was crying hysterically while calling her brother telling him to come over as soon as he can; it was an emergency. Something wasn’t right because my dad’s car was in the drive way and his coat was on the kitchen chair but he was nowhere in sight. Time was moving too fast to comprehend what was going on at the time. All I knew was deep down my dad wasn’t okay, but I made myself be strong for my little sister. I knew my gut feeling was right because before I had time to blink the police were at the door along with the paramedics. I wanted to cry I wanted to yell I wanted to run upstairs and just see my dad. My uncle and Aunt soon arrived and immediately took us to their house. As we were driving away, I knew deep down that I would never see my dad again. That night my mom came over to the house where we were staying. I could tell she was crying. In those few minutes she said three words that turned my life around: “Dad is gone”. My stomach doing flips, my heart was shattered I could feel the pain. That pain I felt that night was indescribable. On March 7th, 2006 my dad committed suicide and was pronounced dead at the scene. I have changed so much since his passing.
I was in a bad place after my dad died. It really took a tool on my grades freshmen and sophomore year. I wanted to change, but I couldn’t find the strength to want to change my ways. That change did not happen till summer going into my junior year. Towards the end of the summer I really realized I needed to change after the loose of my friend Erica. It showed me once again how life is short so make life the best it can be. In August I began to research some churches in my area and came across Christ Community Church and sent an email to the head of the church letting the church employees know I’m interested. At this point in time I am still involved in my church. My religion has saved me in so many ways! I started my junior year with my head held high. I am proud to say that I got honor roll my junior year and plan to continue that strike throughout my senior year.
If people were to ask me what got me through tough times and what motivated to me keep going, I would say this, “You see that sky? You feel the ground underneath your feet? Now stand there and shut your eyes. What do you see? You see nothing. Now open them, how could you see the beauty of the earth, who you are and where you’re going with your eyes shut where you only see darkness? You can’t. SO the beat of my heart kept me going. I know I’m here for a reason and I’m meant to see what my future hold, and not shut my eyes and stay in the darkness. There are positive things I’ve gotten out of everything and what I’m still getting through. I am stronger. I know who I want to be. I know that life is short and to make the best out of everything I have. Age for me is just a number it doesn’t even compare to my life experiences and my maturity level.
In the past 2 years I have finally been able to smile because I changed my perspective on life and I’m finally proud of whom I am and know I have purpose in life. Life will throw you in hurdles and through loops without you having any say. Sadly those hurdles and loops came early in my life. This tragedy will always be a part of who I am and what I’ve been through. Things in my life have happened for a reason so accept the bad and love the great because I know someday and even now it will all make sense. “It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.” (Aristotle Onassis)
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