Waking up to screams of my delightful “father”, waking up to the image of my brother and sister beside me who had fallen asleep tightly hugging each other with swollen eyes worried sick about why my father hadn’t come home to sleep, waking up to no breakfast on the table on thanksgiving day, my mother being merciful to the person who destroyed her self esteem, who never gave support, nor valued her. At the time I was only nine, but from being the oldest child I was cautious of the problems and I was the only one my mother could lean to for a shoulder to cry on while my siblings were sound asleep.This was much of a daily thing for me and all I wanted to wake up to was a peaceful morning, two pancakes, some orange juice, and a shout of “good morning” from my mother who for once carried a real smile.
In NY finding an apartment for a cheap price is scarce, being rejected from houses because they believed a hispanic mother wouldn’t be able to pay rent while raising three kids, was a routine. With a shameful face my mother begging to stay at my aunts house until my brothers and I could find a place to settle. Suffering from sleepless nights because of studying on my own, while my cousin and her dad took an hour studying together. My uncle spoke spanish, english, french and even some italian; while my mother natively spoke spanish and put some effort on speaking english. Year after year spending lonely holidays while my mother was made a joke of for have 3 kids with a man who she thought would change. Me having to help raise my siblings along with the pressure of being the role model and watching my mother work seven days a week while facing her thyroid disease and body pains has completely given me a new insight on challenges this world has to give.
I was forced to mature at such a young age. I lost most of my childhood and what I did obtain were memories with so many babysitters. I have one motivation and that is to proving to everyone especially the man who destroyed my mothers’ smile that I am capable of so much thanks to the women he never valued. Since the 5th grade I have accomplished so much, I made it from several student of the month awards to the Louis Armstrong Middle School National Junior Honor Society, later to consecutively obtaining Academic Achievement awards in High school. Through the commitment of being in the volleyball team for two years, volunteering at Hanac Beacon on a daily basis for a minimum of 245 hours, keeping up excellent grades as proved in my transcript, studying and being a second mother to my siblings, I have not achieved the goal of successfully being content with my SAT/ACT scores. My mother herself was denied the right to continue her studies due to her financial circumstance. I myself have many goals to attain and one is to continue to leave the past where it belongs and simply learn from it as well as allow to continue making me grow as a human being. My mother shaped the person I have become and all i can do to reward her sacrifices is show her it was all worth it because i have settled for a bright future and no one can tell me what my value is because I know what I am worth and what I am capable of. I want to be the difference this world needs. I dream of successfully changing families, curing those from illnesses even though they’re financially in need. I can’t promise to be the change this world needs but I do promise to be part of it.
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