Why Are You Going to College?

First of all, this question is assuming I’m going to get into some college somewhere, so thank you. That’s a nice reassurance in this big, insecure world of college applications. Interestingly enough, no one has ever asked me why I’m going to college. Or even if I’m going to college. Answering this question required a lot of thought. That’s good, I’ve heard thinking is good. I guess I could say that I’m going to college because I don’t want to work in a gas station. But that’s not what you want to hear. I could say that I want a good job that makes me money. But that’s also not at all what you want to hear. Both of those things are nice perks of going to college, but they’re not the Big Reason. I don’t think my Big Reason is what you had in mind either, but I’m not prepared to fit a mold yet.

I’ll wait until I’m wearing pantsuits and blowing out my hair. Without further ado, I present to you the Big Reason: I’m scared. I’m scared to go into the real world, naive as I am. I simply don’t know enough to pretend I’m a functional member of society (pretend is all anyone does. What’s a functional member of society anyway?). My brain is a green tomato. I’m not ready for the world. No one eats green tomatoes. There’s too much left to learn, about the world and… (WARNING: cheesiness ahead) myself. Blah Blah I have to discover myself and determine my true destiny and awaken my passions YAY. If I thought I was knowledgeable enough to be an adult in society, I probably wouldn’t be going to college. Well, maybe I would, so I don’t have to work in a gas station.

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Recap: I’m being scared into going to college. You may be thinking, “well she was right, that’s not really what we wanted/expected to hear.” But I have recognized that I have so much more to learn (and I am eager to learn it), so because I said “learn” twice in this sentence you should like my response. Is that how it works? I wouldn’t know because my brain is a green tomato.

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